Duplicity

Something I have given a lot of thought to lately is how people change themselves based on who they are around. We are all guilty of it, so don’t think I’m talking about other people – I’m talking about me and I’m talking about you.

I have the unique opportunity of spending all of my time as of late around people I really don’t know. This opportunity leaves me with a choice of how I want to present myself and how I want them to perceive me; they don’t know where I come from and we don’t have mutual acquaintances. What I say and how I act here and now is all they now. I think that’s kind of powerful. It’s both a greater opportunity and a great threat.

As I think about this, I realize I kind of want to kick myself in the head. Why do I want to be anything different than what I already am? I know what I’m grounded in and I like who I am; to even consider being anything other is just ridiculous.

I think a lot of times people think they have to be clever to be what others want. They think they are loved based on this persona they have created, but there is so much freedom in being just as you are. And if we are aim to be what another wants, won’t we all end up more homogenous than when we began? I’m quirky sometimes; if people think that’s weird, well, they can go be normal without me. I’m quiet sometimes; if that freaks people out, fine, there are others who find peace in that. There is something to be said for being comfortable with who you are and not expecting others to be to change themselves for you. I’m working toward making this true of me

Film: The Jane Austen Book Club

I’ve been a lover of Jane Austen since I was introduced to her in the tenth grade, but have not picked up one of her novels in a couple years now. Today I joined the local library (maybe the only free thing in this state) and rented the movie, The Jane Austen Book Club.

I must admit that it surpassed all my expectations. The characters in this movie form a book club as an escape from their disheveled lives and through the club end up piecing them back together. I thoroughly enjoyed how realistically varied the characters were and how poetically they found commonality through the books though they perceived the stories very differently. Jane Austen is a timeless author with themes that are and will always be applicable to relationships; this movie has rekindled my love for her novels.

The Eye of the Storm

There is something relaxing and something frightening about silence. Coming from a home where I was one of a jungle of eight, I’m used to white noise always around me. I’ll crave silence and solitude, but once it’s come, I find it unfamiliarly haunting. So here I am alone after having been around my family for the past couple weeks and I just am not sure what to do with it. I've been talking about being on the cusp of change and its started, but there is still so much more. I've settled into the new place and met a lot of new people, but starting my job still stands just hours before me. What to do with this brief moment? Revel in it, analyze what I think about it, and enjoy it while I have the space all to my onesies and we don’t have cable installed yet. It will all change so soon and I’ll be distracted by some things that pass time but add little value to my life and others that will affect it immensely.

The Dining Experience

Getting to know the area has also been an adventure. I’ve never lived in a place other than our little collegetown where everything is so conveniently located that walking really is a valid option. There are a great variety of restaurants in the area and lots of ethnic foods. So far I’ve had Indian and Greek and both experiences were fantastic – I think I’ll start blogging reviews of the restaurants in Stamford. People should know of the gems (and duds…) in this area! Coromandel and Eos to name a few... more to come!

And Expanded

Just as I predicted my world has expanded. Over the course of a very stressful yesterday, my room and kitchen all came together. I drove into town with no bed or dresser, but found one and set it up to sleep soundly in by nightfall.

Do you ever try to picture how things will look in your bed and they turn out completely different than you expected? I’ve been doing shopping here and there while I was still home trying to get ready for my new place. My mom asked me do you picture it like this or like that? What colors do you want? Will this match everything else? It’s kind of stressful to try to figure out, and correct me if I’m wrong, but most of the time we just can’t answer the questions correctly (aka - predict the future).

Luckily, things came out better than I had expected; I now own a lot more (and have more debt…) than I did 2 days ago, but it feels well worth it. And thanking my mother for all her hard work and persistence through a torn rotater cuff is necessary in this moment. Thanks mommy J

Compact Today, Expanding Tomorrow

Today I packed up everything I own into a minivan and tomorrow I am driving it from my childhood home in Ohio to where I’ll begin my career in Connecticut. It’s a strange feeling having everything you own all in one small space like that. In one sense, it is relieving to think how minimal it is – there is a distinct sense of simplicity about it. In another, it is scary to think this is the last time that fact will be true of me. In the coming weeks, I will have to figure creative ways to furnish my new place and my belongings will increase exponentially.

Tomorrow begins a new journey, but tonight I dwell in the comforting sense of simplicity.

Time Stood Still

I just got back from a family and friends vacation in Combermere, Ontario. Some people in town claim Combermere is the hub of the universe, but the problem is they have three restaurants, one market, one gas station, a few craft barns and the weekly flea market – hardly the definition of a hub. When we visit we stay in cabins on a friend’s campsite. About the only activities include watersports, fishing, reading, and sitting by the fire.

While it all doesn’t sound like much, spending a week there made me realize it’s what a real vacation should feel like. Every morning I woke up and had no idea what I would do that day, but I also felt no obligation to be anywhere or get anything done. Everyday molded into some combination of waterskiing, reading on the dock, playing Canada Solitaire by the fire, and sharing meals with people I love. Stress and time seemed to be lifted momentarily and all was well in my world.

At every turn we are tempted by elaborate vacation packages in exotic locations in five-star hotels. I hope I never forget that a vacation doesn’t need to be all of these things; sometimes the best getaway is to a place without much to do or see and I found that this week on the bank of the Madawaska River.

Pictures: Dinner with my family, the view of the Madawaska River from our cabin, me warming up on the boat after waterskiing

In the Beginning

I've heard many times the positives of having your own blog, but I never began one. I was always afraid that my thoughts were fleeting and would be dated within a week. One day I'm on one side of the fence and the next I'm contemplating jumping over to the other side, but how is one to ever figure one's self out unless you say what you think? So today I begin; it's kind of nerve-racking but who knows who will read any of this anyhow?

Running, reading, cooking, and creative home making are my hobbies. Hospitality, fine dining, branding, and e-commerce are my interests. I look forward to sharing my thoughts here in.

Here goes.