Recipe: Black Bean Soup

I told you I’d start cooking and today I made a pretty killer black bean soup. It’s simple, quick, vegetarian and GREAT for you.

Ingredients:

2 cans black bean, undrained

½ can vegetable broth

½ can corn

1 carrot, chopped

½ red onion, chopped

1 T. Chili Powder

½ cup salsa

Recipe:

1. Mash one can of black beans with a potato masher.

2. Put both cans of black beans, the chili powder, ¼ of the can of corn and ¼ can of the vegetable broth in a medium pot and put on low heat uncovered.

3. While that’s starting to heat up, put the salsa, the chopped carrot, ¼ cup of the chopped red onion, ¼ can of corn, and ¼ can of vegetable broth in a food processor or blender. Puree.

4. Add the blend and the rest of the chopped onion to the pot and bring to a rolling boil. Lower to a simmer and cover at that temperature for 10 minutes.

Let cool before serving. I didn’t put anything on it (it doesn’t need anything!), but it would be great topped with shredded cheese, sour cream, chopped onion and or cilantro.

New Year’s Resolutions

2010 - a new year. A whole different kind of year that I've ever encountered before. I know I'll say things that may never come to pass, but intentionality is important and I want to held accountable for these ideals I'm aiming for. So here's what I've got:

1. Contentment – I want to work on being happy with me and with my life as it is. Of course ambition is good and I think I was born with more than a healthy dose, so I want to be happy in my current state with myself, with others, with my work, with where I am and what I’m doing.

2. Cooking – I watched Julie & Julia just the other day and it reminded me of a time I saw cooking as more of a hobby than a chore. As of late, I’ve been eating a lot of cereal and hummus and carrots. I used to LOVE cooking and I want to get back in touch with that. Step one – develop a good black bean soup recipe. When that’s settled, I’ll be sure to let you know.

3. Running – For Christmas, I got a new pair of sneaks and a new ipod. My running habits have been a bit on and off for the past couple of months; I want to buckle down and form good habits that I stick to week to week. These new shoes need to see some miles and my body needs some consistency.

4. Selflessness – As my resolutions thus far show, my world looks like it revolves around me, but I firmly believe that it ought not. I want to work on seeing others more important than myself and using my time to give with no benefit to myself.

This is what I have so far and already pretty lofty. These will probably be things I’m working on for the rest of my life, but hey, let’s start making strides today.

Tales of a Weary Traveler

It’s Christmas Eve and I’m alone in my apartment in Connecticut. There are a lot of things to blame for this unfortunate situation – the vibrate setting on my phone, traffic, Continental, traffic again… many many things. It’s a good story, really. If you’ve seen planes, trains, and automobiles, this may sound quite familiar to you.

Yesterday, 12/23, I was supposed to catch a 6:15am flight out of Newark to Cleveland. I was going to drive to a friend’s and she was going to drive me the airport. When I didn’t show up, she called me – no answer. So she called another friend to get my roommate’s number. She called my roommate who came and woke me up. O crap, I’m late. I jump in my car within 10 minutes and head straight for the airport. Going along just fine, but then standstill traffic getting over the George Washington Bridge. I make it to the airport at 6:30am, 15 minutes late. OK, so there’s no hope and I need to check in to get moved onto another flight. I ask one Continental rep what line to get in, she tells me go up to the 4^th floor. OK, 4^th floor rep, ‘no, no, you need to go the 2^nd floor door 5. OK, 2^nd floor rep, ‘I don’t know what you are talking about, you are supposed to go up to the 4^th floor’. Awesome – NO ONE knows who to talk to about relocation. I get in a special accommodations line – the one for unaccompanied minors and handicapped. What the hell, right? When I get to the desk, the lady is like why are you here? Thankfully, she helped me anyone – tells me I’m on standby for the 9:45am flight (it’s like 7 now). It sounds hopeful so I’m keeping my composure, but boy, was I wrong.

Waiting for the 9:45am flight, I found out they’ve oversold the flight by ten seats so some people who bought a ticket for this flight in particular may not even make it on. Thank heavens they do and one person on standby gets on the flight. Probably 3 Continental employees walk up casually and take 3 seats that DEFinitely should have gone to standby with such a long list. They announce everyone on stand by has been rolled over to the next flight at 2:10pm.

I waste 4 hours somehow and thank the Lord for such an entertaining book. For this flight, they post the stand by list; it’s about 40 people long now and I’m number 2. That sounds promising, right? So MORE Continental employees walk up and get tickets on the flight, no sweat. I’m furious. Then 2 girls from Venezuela are trying to get home and they walk up the desk. It turns into a ‘You don’t f***ing care that I’m trying to get home for Christmas?’ and the attendant gets pissed about the profanity. But then the girl starts balling and right before my eyes I see standby #1 and 2 go to these 2 girls. Damn, that’s frustrating.

I get in line at Customer Service to see if I can get guaranteed a later flight; someone had already made an announcement that nothing was available until the 26^th. I stand in that line for 2 hours and never actually make it to the desk because a friend decides it would be better if I just try to take a bus instead.

I’m convinced and abandon the losing fight with Continent to catch the 5:15pm bus out of White Plains. I should be able to get there in 2 hours, right? Not at all. Traffic is a DISaster and then I get lost for a good while in Yonkers; I don’t get to White Plains until 7. And on the way, I’ve gone through so many toll booths, I’ve run out of money. So I get the opportunity of getting to the booth and telling the guy I don’t have money. He proceeds to fill out a long-ass form while the build up of cars behind me honk like I’m intentionally holding up the booth. Humiliating.

While I was in the car, I called and found out there was another bus at 11, but I’d have to transfer my ticket at the box office at the station. They neglected to tell me that office closes at 6; they have a TON of buses after 6 – how can they just up and close like that?? At this point, I am DONE but I’ve never been to White Plains before so I haven’t the slightest idea how to get home. Dad helps me figure it out and I head home in tears to forget about the terrible day I can’t believe I just went through. No plane, no bus, and no money for the tolls on the road to places that didn’t get me anywhere.

I’m now booked, as in NOT standby, for a flight Christmas morning at 6:15am. I’ve lost all faith in myself to wake up on time so I’ve added some others to assist in the process and I’m leaving so early I could walk to the airport and make it, I think. If I make it home tomorrow, I’m going to be more thankful to be there than I have ever been in all my life. Merry Christmas!

I've Been Away

I know there's been a big gap in my posts on here. Sorry. Want to see where I've been??

San Francisco, a buena vista

Thankful: On Everyday Opportunity

Do you ever think about how blessed we are with each day that we get to live, each person we are given the opportunity to get to know, each chance to learn something new or test our limits? Do you consider them a blessing? Perception is half of reality. I think a lot of days that my perception of my surroundings is far from what it should be, but today is different – I’m in love with being alive. Maybe I’ll keep reading this every morning and aspire to the same outlook each day – find the joy in what I’ll get to experience in the coming hours.

The Only Time I’m Standing Still

When I’m out running is the only time that I feel like I’m standing still and observing the beauty that surrounds me and processing the things going on in my life.

I’ve found a route about half way between my home and work that goes along tons of beautiful houses – some old and some new, some tiny and quaint, other monstrous and unfathomable. The houses alone keep me entertained with glimpses of the ocean in between, but then there is mile 3, the part I look forward to the most. In mile three I run a solid mile along the waters edge and it is wonderful. Today, it was more breathtaking than ever before. I’ve been going after work and the sun sets about an hour after that so when I hit mile 3, the sky was a blaze of hot pink and the still water of the inlet was like glass reflecting the same beauty. In between were the beautiful houses, green lush yards, Adirondack chairs, private docks and empty boats. I wish I could have captured it and held on somehow, but it’s only in mind.

As I ran along unaware of myself and wrapped up in all I could see, I realized that in all these beautiful houses lived people who own a place where they can witness this same miracle, yet I did not see one of them. All the Adirondacks were empty, all the patios bear. How could you have that opportunity and completely deny it? I fully know that I am guilty of the same sin at other times, but if people could forget about their worries and find the joy and peace that I saw in that sunset today, there would be a lot more happiness in the world.

I’m not sure when I get this opportunity if didn’t run. I want to run, I want born to run – for that hour each day there is no where I would rather be.

Baking All Things Apple

So I don't have all the proper utensils for baking...I just moved here...Who owns a rolling pin? Obviously, not me, but thank the Lord, in our apartment, we are never out of wine

When did I get here?

You know, the whole concept of feeling old is completely a social construct. People have told us all our lives what makes them feel old and then when we see that pattern in our lives, we think – o, me too! What is time that defines what we feel? And why is it that feeling old or feeling young has positive or negative effects on us? Time is what it is; it never changed and it certainly didn’t come into being the first time you suddenly felt it.

This weekend I went back to Cornell as an alumnus for the first time. I felt young again because for a weekend I got to do all the fun foolish things I once did on a weekly basis, yet I felt old because I was introduced to some freshman (born in 90s…I can’t relate to that!) who never knew me as a student – they only see me as a grad and career person (which SO does not define me, might I add).

Then maybe related or not, a student emailed me today to ask for a phone interview for research they are doing at the Hotel School. I don’t know when I became qualified to be one with insight on this, but it seems that I am. I feel old, I fully admit, but I also wish that I didn’t because I don’t believe in letting social constructs like that have an effect. I graduated and here I am today working at priceline.com and some kid wants to know about my job and workplace life. This will be interesting… Hopefully I don’t scare him

old friends that never get old

There's something about spending time with old friends that brings such a feeling of warmth and security. Work is pretty darn hectic right now, but if I can make it through til 7pm tomorrow, everthing is going to feel right in my world... at least until Monday. Reba, Papa John's, endless hours on the couch in pjs, wine, reading at the coffee shop, making dinner... just being together. I love being alive and I adore my friends. It's going to be a wonderful weekend - not even the rain can get in my way.

i put my hands up, they're playin my song

We spent the weekend in New Hampshire. Foliage was beautiful; weather was less than ideal, but the combination of these two factors was fantastic. The rain and low clouds/fog actually accentuated the brilliant colors of the leaves. I was so bummed by the forecast all week, but what a wonderful surprise it brought. This pictures doesn't do it justice in the least; I'll never forget the way it looked and I don't know when, if ever, I'll see it like that again.

We stay 8 of us in a cottage and had an awesome time ziplining in the mountains. There is no way to describe falling backwards off a base and screaming my lungs out as I picked up speed to about 45 mph down the line called White Knuckles (Alpine Adventures - look them up if you want a go at it). It was a fantastic experience, but I think the time I was most thankful for was the almost painful laughs the girls had in the car. We may say we're only co-workers, but I'm not fooled. These girls are so dear to me. So I put my hands up, they're playin my song, the butterflies fly away. Bobbing my head like yea, movin my hips like yea.

And as for this video, I never thought I'd be one to go see a bear ride a bike, but I guess I was wrong. And I never thought I'd be one to be impressed if I ever did... I guess I was wrong. You have to laugh at the simple things like this. It's worth it.

A great weekend.

Born to Run - don't stop believing

This morning I had to do the elliptical instead of running and let me say it was one of the more frustrating experiences. I felt like I got up 45 minutes early for no reason at all. If anything, all that I accomplished was being by my friend’s side and telling to her to keep going when she wanted to stop – I’m pretty sure I got no work out whatsoever.

I love running, everything about it, but my feet don’t agree right now. Born to Run – I believe it in my heart of hearts so how did this happen? I should see a doctor about it, but that’s just not my style right now. I’ll give it a rest for the weekend. It may be my shoes. I don’t know; I’m just frustrated

Losing Track of Time or just Losing Time

The time passes too quickly. I’ve lived in Connecticut now for MORE than 2 months – not possible, since when?? I’ve had 2 run-ins with new hires at work, but I still feel like I’m the newby. And everyday this pattern of running, working, errands, dinner and chilling out – 24 hours feel as though they have crammed themselves into 1. I can’t seem to finish the endless list of things that need to be done EOD. Then there’s that moment after work each day that I let out a sigh and am thankful for the empty evening ahead only to blink and realize I have to wake up again in 6 hours. How does that happen? I never seem to get done the things that I need.

Want to know one good reason? The TV. I love good shows, funny shows and mindless shows – essentially, I can always find a reason to keep it on. And I’m starting to see the symptoms of addiction. I’m making a pact to myself today – no more than 1 hour per day for the rest of the week. There’s those 2 books I want to finish (Born to Run & Brief Interviews with Hideous Men – I recommend both J), there’s this blog that I want to put a little more effort into, and there’s all these dishes I want to attempt to make. All better ways to use my time, use my brain as they both slip away.

Book: Born to Run

Notes on the book that is changing my outlook page by page.

I’ve just passed half way, but already this book has really been changing my perspective on running and I see my mentality when I am out there evolving to a better place than it has ever been before. I want to be good at this and I want to enjoy it. Running is a pleasure, not a chore. I find myself no longer wanting to get something from it, but instead to put as much as I can into it and improving.

You had to love running, or you wouldn’t live to love anything else. And like everything else we love – everything we sentimentally call our “passions” and “desires” – it’s really an encoded ancestoral necessity. We were born to run; we were born because we run. We’re all Running People, as the Tarahumara have always known. –Dr. Vigil

We were made to run and when we first learned to run nothing could slow us down. We wanted to do everything as fast as we possibly could, then society told us to slow it down, so we did and lost that first love. Is it possible that people could return to the first love?

It wasn’t just how to run; it was how to live, the essence of who we were as a species and what we’re meant to be… Perhaps all our troubles – all the violence, obesity, illness, depression, and greed we can’t overcome – began when we stopped living as Running People. Deny your nature, and it will erupt in some other, uglier way. –Dr. Vigil

There is so much shit in the world. When I go for a run, I let out a lot of the frustrations I face each day and spend time processing the difficult situations in my life. What if everyone took that time each day, considered the joy of leaving all hardships behind and running for the hills? Is it possible that there could be so much less of the evils in our world? Slow people down from making rash decisions by teaching them to run, to love to run, and taking that time to look at life from a distance.

How to Get There: Think Easy, Light, Smooth, and Fast. You start with easy, because if that’s all you get, that’s not so bad…Make it effortless, like you don’t give a shit how high the hill is or how far you’ve got to go. When you’ve practiced that so long you forget that you are practicing, you work on making it smooooooth. Don’t worry about the last one – you get those three and you’ll be fast.

Of course that is easier said than done in the eyes of a non-runner. But I urge you – it is possible.

Eat as though you were a poor person.

I’m not entirely sure how to explain that, but it makes a lot of sense. We’ve caused more dietary problems for ourselves through progress than we have solutions. A return to our roots certainly could do us some good.

They were expected to accomplish nothing, so they could try anything. Audacity beckoned. –Jenn & Billy

Think you can’t do it? Perfect. If you and everyone else expect to accomplish nothing in giving running a try, you can try ANYHTING and you’ll exceed your expectations guaranteed.

Think about it. And if you're that kind of person, READ IT.

You are tougher than you think you are and you can do more than you think you can.

More to come…

It's true: Kanye was indirectly attacking Stephen

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Kanye West Interrupts Taylor Swift at the VMAs
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Protests

Colbert has a way of spinning things. I'm in love. I'm a bit jealous of Taylor - I wish I were his soulmate (not to mention having her incredible talent...).

"Apple Tablet Eats Kindle"

I was never convinced by the Kindle - I totally agree...

http://mashable.com/2009/09/12/apple-tablet-eats-kindle/

Forgotten Foods

We are people of habit and most of the time when we go to the market, we get the same things time and time again. There is a simple joy in rediscovering a food you had forgotten about (or maybe are discovering for the first time).

It was my birthday this week and I went to dinner at an Indian restaurant - Coromandel in Stamford, CT - with three dear friends. Upon on the girls’ prompting, we got fried cauliflower to start. (I would likely never pick this...) While almost anything fried is delicious, this was more than just that – it was fantastic.

So when I went shopping the next day, I made a point to buy some cauliflower, something new and different. For dinner today I just sautéed cauliflower with onions, green beans and almost and sprinkled some fresh parmesan on top. Simple, and so wonderful.

Rediscover a food you’ve forgotten today; it will bring a smile to your face – I guarantee it.

And on the side, I would like to say that one sign of a good restaurant is that it inspires you to cook something new when you leave.

I Want to Live a Simple Life

Simple Life Lyrics

The Weepies

When I get up in the morning, put the kettle on

Make us some coffee, say hey to the sun

Is it enough to write a song, and sing it to the birds

They'd hear just the tune, not understand my love for words

But you would hear me and know...

That I want to live this

I want to live

I want to live a simple life

I dreamed you first, but not so real

And every day since I found you, such moments we steal

Like little fields, we rub our hands

And hold our hearts between them

But will you hear me and know...

That I want to live this

I want to live

I want to live a simple life

Move on, move on, time is accelerating

Drive on, all night, traffic lights and one ways

Move on, move on parking violations waiting

Turn off the car, breathe the air, let's stay here

I'll kiss you awake, and we'll have time

To know our neighbors all by name, and every star at night

We'll weave our days together like waves, and particles of light

I want to live this

I want to live

I want to live a simple life

I want to live this

I want to live

I want to live a simple life

Can I Keep a Secret?

No one asked me to, but something has come up that is just too juicy to keep to myself and just too incriminating to share. I HATE THAT. So what to do? I’m going to think of it as a challenge, a challenge that I plan to beat. It’s not about me; it’s about other people that I care about. I have to do it for them and besides, once it’s been said nothing will change for me – all that will be left will be unceasing ridicule and I don’t wish that upon anyone. I love the Weepies song and it's talk of a simple life. I don't think of simple as a husband, two kids, and a dog (I'm not that girl); I think of it as being at peace with all men and considering others before myself. So there you have it - a challenge to be the person I say I want to be.

This isn’t going to be easy, but I’ll let you know how I do.

Thankful: On Lazy Mornings

In general, I have a hard time spending time doing nothing at all. Many weekend mornings I wake up early and wish with all of me that I was one of those people that could sleep forever, but I'm not. Luckily, this morning I woke up and was happy to be awake, happy to spend the morning in quietude doing nothing of consequence.

I downloaded a few new Mat Kearney songs, worked on perfecting my eggs sunny side up, emailed a few friends, and am now doing to snuggle up with my book and perhaps fall back asleep.

So damn lucky...

Dining: Pizza Joints in Stamford - the lovely and the ugly

This week I have had the unfortunate opportunity to eat out for pizza not once, but twice. This is not a habit I intend to keep up with (it's surprisingly not as beneficial as frequenting the gym - surprising, right?), but it did give me the chance to make a good comparison of the two - Colony Pizza and Remos Brick Oven Pizza.

Monday I went with two girlfriends to Colony Pizza, which is said to be the best pizza in the city. The place is ugly and serves only thin crust pizza to eat and only beer and martinis to drink. I personally don’t feel that martinis go well with pizza, but obviously they feel differently. Beer does go with pizza, but only when your tap is working… I ordered a cheese pizza with peppers and I think there may have been 3 whole large peppers on there – I mean I got my moneys worth, but I don’t want to eat peppers again for a couple months now. It took great effort to get anything at all from our server and the parking lot was a small glimpse of hell. If it weren’t for the company, it would have been an unbearable experience.

Wednesday I went to Remos on Bedford St. and pleasantly surprised. I chose it because I’d walked past before and liked the décor a lot. Well, it turned out to be as delicious as it looked from the sidewalk. They cook them in a brick oven and have a choice of old world (with fresh mozzarella and flat bread) or new world pizza (New York style). They have unusual high end toppings as well as the usual. I had an old world spinach pizza and it was absolutely fantastic, paired very well with my glass of wine. The décor is cozy and the modern Italian music sets the mood. I couldn’t be more complimentary of their establishment.

I will most certainly be back at Remos again in the near future, but Colony – it will take a miracle to get me through their door again. I’ll do all I can to change the perception that they are the best in town, because it is most assuredly not true.

Film: Stranger than Fiction (& my subsequent thoughts on life)

Disclaimer: If you are going to watch this movie, I probably wouldn’t read this. I’m bad about giving plot away sometimes (but not the whole thing)…

Isn’t it strange how people come and go in our lives day to day and we never know when they come if they are going to be important to us someday? That they might have a profound effect on our life? There’s those people that you made a bad first impression on and at first you told yourself it was no big deal, but then a little while later you really regretted it. That’s the kind of thing I love about life – things have a strange way of working out but getting the best of us in the process.

Today I watched Stranger than Fiction and found it to be not at all what I expected. It was tragic and not your standard Will Ferrell comedy. I was caught completely off guard, but pleasantly so. Will Ferrell, an IRS auditor, falls for a indie-type tattoo-adorned baker, Maggie Gyllenhaal, who refuses to pay all of her taxes because she doesn’t agree with the government’s use of them. When he walked into that bakery, he had NO idea that he could fall for a girl like her and so starkly unlike him. He made a horrid first impression, but down the road, it played to his advantage.

It made me think. There is someone in my life that I am terribly attracted to because he intimidates me. I find myself very strange in this realization but intriguing at the same time. I know I made a bad first impression awhile back and I think that has a bit to do with why he scares me. What to do with this I don’t know, but it’s interesting all the same. I certainly didn’t see this coming when I met him that first day.

My life is no movie, but movies certainly make me think about my life.

What Would You Do for an Ipod Nano?

People, people, how are we constantly falling for scams like this? Clearly, knowing the demand for ipods, they are never going to be put on sale for $49 and what does making this purchase have to do with your social security?? I'm sorry for anyone who fell for this or any other scam, but can we please be a little more cautious? And to all the scam artists out there, you are sick and need to learn what it means to make an honest living. I hope you discover that some day.

http://macenstein.com/default/2009/08/ipod-nano-for-just-49-plus-your-social-security-number/

What I want is to dwell

I think I take life too seriously a lot of the time. There is a time to be serious and a time to have fun (that’s not meant to be a quote), and right now strongly feels like a time to have fun. If you think about it, many of the decisions we make instantaneously are built on our beliefs about time and obligation and things we build up in our minds to mean more than they do; we tell ourselves no when there isn’t a good reason not to say yes. For the moment, I just want dwell and not consider the long term in every situation. Time is passing by too quickly to lose the moments and people that are here and now.

Now all I need is someone to take care of my bills…

ABDC is back!

America's Best Dance Crew is back in action tonight at 9PM. I had no idea until today because I have not had cable for the past 3 weeks, but what are the odds that I get my cable hooked up this afternoon and one of my favorite guilty-pleasure tv shows premieres tonight? It was not on purpose, but I must say it feels a lot like fate.

If you are into hip hop and a host of other types of dancing and love to laugh at the not-so-clever commentary of Mario Lopez, check it out...

America's Best Dance Crew (Season 4) - MTV Shows

Thankful: On Friendship

We walked down streets aimlessly walking and talking; the hours rolled by, but no one seemed to notice.

Today as I rode the train back out of the city I thought about just how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends who I can spend hours with without feeling any pressure to impress or filter or entertain; when we are together, all my cares can be cast aside. Who can ask for a better gift?

And a note on this section – I want to start blogging about the things in my life that I am thankful for because there are countless days when I think to myself that I am blessed more than I deserve. More to come…

I <3 Mini

In the car buying process, there were moments when I wasn't sure if down the road I would regret my decision to get my Mini. Luckily, I haven't even for a moment yet.

Just yesterday I had the greatest urge to go drive - just open the sunroof, turn up the Dave, and drive. I was abruptly awakened when I remembered that I'd moved to Connecticut where 95 is jammed right into sunset and there really isn't a place to take nice drive and not hit traffic or a bunch of lights - an unfortunate realization, but I still enjoyed the short jaunt into Darien.

And today, as happens every time someone I know sees my car, two friends of mine asked me if I felt like Charlize Theron behind the wheel and wanted to go do some great heist. My response: everyday.

Now of course it doesn't mean the world to me (and my hope is that no material ever does), but my little Mini brings me a bit of joy everyday. Judging my Forbes, I don't think I'm the only one that feels that way...

If she lasts that long, I will most definitely love her for 50 years.

http://www.forbes.com/2009/07/29/bmw-mini-cooper-lifestyle-vehicles-mini-car-50.html

Film: Away We Go

I originally went to see Away We Go for two simple reasons: (1) Alexi Murdoch is one of my favorite artists and he did almost the entire soundtrack for the movie, and (2) John Krasinski is adorable. My expectations honestly weren’t very high for the movie, but I was pleasantly surprised. This movie is an indie film love story between two people who have great screen chemistry. And we all think Jim is hysterical in The Office, but who knew he could make the audience laugh so heartily in a completely different role? I laughed so hard at times, I wanted to be Maya Rudolph at others and at moments, I wanted to cry.

One of the best movies I have seen in a long time, hands down

Duplicity

Something I have given a lot of thought to lately is how people change themselves based on who they are around. We are all guilty of it, so don’t think I’m talking about other people – I’m talking about me and I’m talking about you.

I have the unique opportunity of spending all of my time as of late around people I really don’t know. This opportunity leaves me with a choice of how I want to present myself and how I want them to perceive me; they don’t know where I come from and we don’t have mutual acquaintances. What I say and how I act here and now is all they now. I think that’s kind of powerful. It’s both a greater opportunity and a great threat.

As I think about this, I realize I kind of want to kick myself in the head. Why do I want to be anything different than what I already am? I know what I’m grounded in and I like who I am; to even consider being anything other is just ridiculous.

I think a lot of times people think they have to be clever to be what others want. They think they are loved based on this persona they have created, but there is so much freedom in being just as you are. And if we are aim to be what another wants, won’t we all end up more homogenous than when we began? I’m quirky sometimes; if people think that’s weird, well, they can go be normal without me. I’m quiet sometimes; if that freaks people out, fine, there are others who find peace in that. There is something to be said for being comfortable with who you are and not expecting others to be to change themselves for you. I’m working toward making this true of me

Film: The Jane Austen Book Club

I’ve been a lover of Jane Austen since I was introduced to her in the tenth grade, but have not picked up one of her novels in a couple years now. Today I joined the local library (maybe the only free thing in this state) and rented the movie, The Jane Austen Book Club.

I must admit that it surpassed all my expectations. The characters in this movie form a book club as an escape from their disheveled lives and through the club end up piecing them back together. I thoroughly enjoyed how realistically varied the characters were and how poetically they found commonality through the books though they perceived the stories very differently. Jane Austen is a timeless author with themes that are and will always be applicable to relationships; this movie has rekindled my love for her novels.

The Eye of the Storm

There is something relaxing and something frightening about silence. Coming from a home where I was one of a jungle of eight, I’m used to white noise always around me. I’ll crave silence and solitude, but once it’s come, I find it unfamiliarly haunting. So here I am alone after having been around my family for the past couple weeks and I just am not sure what to do with it. I've been talking about being on the cusp of change and its started, but there is still so much more. I've settled into the new place and met a lot of new people, but starting my job still stands just hours before me. What to do with this brief moment? Revel in it, analyze what I think about it, and enjoy it while I have the space all to my onesies and we don’t have cable installed yet. It will all change so soon and I’ll be distracted by some things that pass time but add little value to my life and others that will affect it immensely.

The Dining Experience

Getting to know the area has also been an adventure. I’ve never lived in a place other than our little collegetown where everything is so conveniently located that walking really is a valid option. There are a great variety of restaurants in the area and lots of ethnic foods. So far I’ve had Indian and Greek and both experiences were fantastic – I think I’ll start blogging reviews of the restaurants in Stamford. People should know of the gems (and duds…) in this area! Coromandel and Eos to name a few... more to come!

And Expanded

Just as I predicted my world has expanded. Over the course of a very stressful yesterday, my room and kitchen all came together. I drove into town with no bed or dresser, but found one and set it up to sleep soundly in by nightfall.

Do you ever try to picture how things will look in your bed and they turn out completely different than you expected? I’ve been doing shopping here and there while I was still home trying to get ready for my new place. My mom asked me do you picture it like this or like that? What colors do you want? Will this match everything else? It’s kind of stressful to try to figure out, and correct me if I’m wrong, but most of the time we just can’t answer the questions correctly (aka - predict the future).

Luckily, things came out better than I had expected; I now own a lot more (and have more debt…) than I did 2 days ago, but it feels well worth it. And thanking my mother for all her hard work and persistence through a torn rotater cuff is necessary in this moment. Thanks mommy J

Compact Today, Expanding Tomorrow

Today I packed up everything I own into a minivan and tomorrow I am driving it from my childhood home in Ohio to where I’ll begin my career in Connecticut. It’s a strange feeling having everything you own all in one small space like that. In one sense, it is relieving to think how minimal it is – there is a distinct sense of simplicity about it. In another, it is scary to think this is the last time that fact will be true of me. In the coming weeks, I will have to figure creative ways to furnish my new place and my belongings will increase exponentially.

Tomorrow begins a new journey, but tonight I dwell in the comforting sense of simplicity.

Time Stood Still

I just got back from a family and friends vacation in Combermere, Ontario. Some people in town claim Combermere is the hub of the universe, but the problem is they have three restaurants, one market, one gas station, a few craft barns and the weekly flea market – hardly the definition of a hub. When we visit we stay in cabins on a friend’s campsite. About the only activities include watersports, fishing, reading, and sitting by the fire.

While it all doesn’t sound like much, spending a week there made me realize it’s what a real vacation should feel like. Every morning I woke up and had no idea what I would do that day, but I also felt no obligation to be anywhere or get anything done. Everyday molded into some combination of waterskiing, reading on the dock, playing Canada Solitaire by the fire, and sharing meals with people I love. Stress and time seemed to be lifted momentarily and all was well in my world.

At every turn we are tempted by elaborate vacation packages in exotic locations in five-star hotels. I hope I never forget that a vacation doesn’t need to be all of these things; sometimes the best getaway is to a place without much to do or see and I found that this week on the bank of the Madawaska River.

Pictures: Dinner with my family, the view of the Madawaska River from our cabin, me warming up on the boat after waterskiing

In the Beginning

I've heard many times the positives of having your own blog, but I never began one. I was always afraid that my thoughts were fleeting and would be dated within a week. One day I'm on one side of the fence and the next I'm contemplating jumping over to the other side, but how is one to ever figure one's self out unless you say what you think? So today I begin; it's kind of nerve-racking but who knows who will read any of this anyhow?

Running, reading, cooking, and creative home making are my hobbies. Hospitality, fine dining, branding, and e-commerce are my interests. I look forward to sharing my thoughts here in.

Here goes.